No One Could Know

“Scott the Cop” was my first college boyfriend.

Scott (not to be confused with the Scott I’m married to now) and I met at Dillard’s Department store in the mall by the cash register in Ladies’ Active Wear. I was working full-time to pay my way through school and he was earning extra money as a security guard. Every round he made through my department, he’d stop and talk with me — to make sure things were safe, you know. After months of flirting, he finally asked to me out.

He rang the doorbell at precisely 6 o’clock Friday night, when he said he’d pick me up. My dad answered the door and let him in. “Hello sir, I’m Scott,” he said. “I plan on taking your daughter to the William’s Center for dinner and will have her back at 8 o’clock. I have an early morning.”

When I slipped into his car, he shut the door behind me and walked around to the driver’s side, got in, and waited.

And just sat there.

I smiled awkwardly and he smiled back over the top of his “cop sunglasses.”

I did a quick scan inside his car, looking for something to talk about.

He sat patiently.

Finally, he said, “I need you to do me a favor.”

I grinned, cocked an eyebrow, and waited.

“Will you buckle your seat belt for me, please?” he asked somberly. “I’ve seen too many people get hurt in accidents, and I really care about people. I don’t want anyone to get hurt — especially you.”

He started the car only after he heard the click and we were off. I liked being with him. I felt safe. I felt respected. I felt that the 350,000 people in Tulsa were safer because of him. But we didn’t date very long. His schedule got busier and so did mine. After what seemed like a long span of not seeing him on weekend security detail, I asked another officer where he’d been.

“Oh … you haven’t heard?” the man in Blue slowly replied. “He committed suicide.”

He and his partner, I was told, had pulled someone over for a traffic violation and when the driver got out of his car, Scott thought he was reaching for a gun – and shot him. When he got closer, he realized that the driver had only been reaching for his keys.

The weight of his costly mistake overwhelmed him and he took his own life.

I was reminded of that today when several states in our nation became engulfed in yet another cop scandal — and a dozen were shot in Dallas. The prayer vigil held in my city at noon was a monumental stake in the ground for our town. About 65 pastors and citizens surrounded those who protect and serve to let them know they’re valued and supported.

Law enforcement officers receive prayer from about 65 Shenandoah, Iowa citizens who gathered at City Hall on July 9, 2016. The prayer vigil was in response to Dallas Police Chief David Brown’s plea for prayer after a five police were killed and seven more wounded on July 8.

I do not defend injustice that’s happened at the hand of thugs who’ve hidden behind a uniform. Nor do I defend those who fight evil with evil. I pray for them all just the same.

The Bible talks about race riots in Matthew 24:7, Mark 13:8 AND in Luke 21:10. Jesus answered the disciples’ question, “What will be the sign of your coming?” by saying, “…You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.  Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.

The Greek word for “nation” in all three of those places is “ethnos.” Interesting? When looking at the Greek definition of ethnos, it translates to “race/tribe.”

Jesus goes on to say, “There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”

So what can we do? Love. Love, He said, has “grown cold” in our world.

What happened to Scott the Cop was that he could not climb out from under the weight of a horrible mistake. I didn’t know much about God at the time and never talked about Him with Scott the Cop. As far I know, he didn’t know that God can — and will — sort out even the darkest times of our lives. And, for those caught up in darkness today, our God not only can, but WANTS to shed light on the darkness.

Jesus said in Revelation 3:20, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”

He’ll come in like the gentleman I dated for a brief moment, but Jesus will come in and never leave you — and never forsake you. All you need to do is ask. He is knocking at your heart’s door.