No One Could Know

Book excerpt from Chapter 3: My Sixteenth Birthday

FABULOUS FIFTEEN…At my 15th birthday party, here in January of 1981, life was carefree. My 17th birthday was a dramatically different story.

…As a young girl I expected turning sixteen to be a grand affair in such a Scarlett-O’Hara-ball sort of way that I’d even dreamed of making a dress out of green velvet curtains like Scarlett had. But to this day, all I know is that I did get that coveted gold watch at some point. Perhaps that was the occasion I received the Seventeen magazine subscription.

The teen publications all promoted a physical relationships and talked about sex. Most of their articles related to having some sort of romantic relationship with a guy, like, “What Movie Couple Are You and Your Boyfriend?” and “How to Turn His Head” or even “5 Different Ways to Kiss.” They stimulated grandiose ideas of dating Harlequin-romance-novel style. The air-brushed shots of pretty girls in perfectly staged exotic lagoon locations that were splashed onto page after glossy page only served as measuring sticks of where I “should be” on the American adolescent scale.

I enjoyed picking up monthly makeup and wardrobe tips from the magazine, so I especially loved shopping trips with Mom—she is always fun to run around with. Every Saturday morning she’d wake me up with a cheery, “Get up, up, up, up, up—pancakes are ready! It’s a bright new sun-shiny day! Clean your room and we’ll go to Dillard’s!” But why couldn’t my eyebrows be like Brooke Shields’s caterpillary things or my hair as thick and wavy? Why couldn’t my legs be tiny and tan instead of meaty and sunburned every summer? Would life really be more fun if I were blonde like so many of my Sun-In-using friends? After all, isn’t looking like a super model the way to catch the best boyfriends? I was caught in a mind-altering web of comparing myself to others.

Why does society place expectations on teenagers that they “should” be dating someone anyway? Are they any less of a teen if they’re flying solo? So many little boys are even teased with the probing question, “Do you have a girlfriend?” I always feel badly for children who are put on the spot with that question. A lingering expectation is surely imprinted in their psyche that they’ll only be fully accepted by the world when they have a “little filly” on their arms.

Thankfully, my wise mother taught me that being beautiful on the inside is far more important than how I look on the outside. It didn’t matter whether I dressed like a fashion plate in all the right makeup and accessories, or if I dressed in thick gray Russell sweats and black Converse high-top tennis shoes, or “waffle stomper” boots and button-up Levi jeans. The most important way to be beautiful was to know who I was internally and to shine from the inside out.

The trouble was, I had no idea who I was or who I even wanted to become…

 

Knowing who you are will make a difference in everything you do – even the way you think. Many travel the world “in search of themselves,” but you need only travel as far as the pages of the Bible. There, you’ll see who you are – “in Christ.” That means that having a relationship with Him changes everything. When we invite Jesus into our lives by accepting Him as our Savior, we become “In Christ.” Then, “in Him,”we are:

• A new creation: 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
• Made alive: 1 Corinthians 15:22 “For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.”
• Free from condemnation: Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
• Reconciled to God: Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.”
• Sons of God: Galatians 3:26-27 “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”
• Righteous, holy and redeemed: 1 Corinthians 1:30 “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.”
• Able to have eternal hope: 2 Timothy 2:10 “Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

I encourage you to grab a pen and circle all the places in the Bible you see the phrases “in Him,” “by Him,” “through Him,” etc. (Ephesians is a great place to start) When your “identity” comes through knowing you’re simply a child of a loving Father in heaven, you realize that you are already complete “in Him,” and don’t need to look any further. He fulfills that wonder with His amazing love and acceptance, and you more easily become everything He created you to be.